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Famous Mothers
Monday, May 7, 2001

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go,
young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a
garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on
braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, if I've told you once, I've told
you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to
me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher.
You still could have written!"

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you--quit
playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this
week!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other
children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off
the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your
report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and
prove it!"

CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you--don't go
biting off more than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't
you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite,
Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school,
Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how
much the insurance is going to be?"

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from
the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you
don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be
a lot more spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture.
Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse,
something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing
money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've
really been for the last three days."

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and
we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you
quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the
electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to
bed!"

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